it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Who died my cat blue again?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
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