And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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