Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
