You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
