The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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