I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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