belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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