Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
