DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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