I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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