my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
