I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
