perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
