He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
