first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
