I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
