I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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