If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
