u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
