he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
