He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
