I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
