can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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