but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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