Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We left the knife in your bed.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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