Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
