You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
