dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
