i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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