tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
