I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
