Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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