If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
