she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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