In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
