You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
