guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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