Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
