Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
