Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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