I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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