i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I enjoy the company of your penis
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
