I cockslap morals
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
