he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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