i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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