Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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