We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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