You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
