So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
