hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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