i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
