There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
