Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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