Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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