im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
