then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
